Having lunch with Jessica today.
That she runs her own cleaning business and thus sets her own hours so I can go see her almost any time I need to.
That I have a job where I can come and go as I please.
Looking forward to lots of fun with Jess this weekend.
Learning from my past and applying it to my present.
All the rain making my flowers come back.
The sale of another painting.
Stupid reality show re-runs that keep me entertained when I can't sleep at night. Do people really behave that way? Oh yeah I guess I acted that way too, but when I was 17!
Staying grounded.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Self First
Today I'm grateful for...
Getting my tire fixed on the convertible so I can go topless :) this summer knowing the car is in good condition.
Knowing how to jump start my mower, and doing it by myself, so I could finally get my yard mowed.
Nice looking fruit at the store for smoothies.
The quiet hour I have on Mondays and Wednesdays to run errands while Taylor is in her classes.
The solitude of my day today.
Talking with Jones
Looking forward to a fun weekend with no children.
Continuing to be disciplined with my eating habits, to make it a habit.
Being more aware of myself and what my needs are, learning to ask for what I want.
Starting to feel the urge to paint again.
Being happy with who I am, finding comfort in knowing my own patterns, and trying to pay attention to them.
Taking care of myself first.
Getting my tire fixed on the convertible so I can go topless :) this summer knowing the car is in good condition.
Knowing how to jump start my mower, and doing it by myself, so I could finally get my yard mowed.
Nice looking fruit at the store for smoothies.
The quiet hour I have on Mondays and Wednesdays to run errands while Taylor is in her classes.
The solitude of my day today.
Talking with Jones
Looking forward to a fun weekend with no children.
Continuing to be disciplined with my eating habits, to make it a habit.
Being more aware of myself and what my needs are, learning to ask for what I want.
Starting to feel the urge to paint again.
Being happy with who I am, finding comfort in knowing my own patterns, and trying to pay attention to them.
Taking care of myself first.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Ridiculous Behavior
Today I'm grateful for....
My sisters and Jess coming to the rescue last night, it was much needed.
Dancing, singing, and playing asshole in the bar with my sisters and Jess, completely oblivious to the other patrons. Yelling, laughing, cursing and ignoring every one else.
Our ridiculously childish behavior, our late night excursions, toilet paper, and Lisa for driving our drunk asses around.
All of us arriving home safely.
Waking up at 11am to a quiet house.
Watching Brea play soccer today.
Feeling Kayla's hand in mine, and the way she reminds me so much of Kelsey. Being able to be close to her, knowing full well the influence I have on her and teaching her how to be a strong independent lady.
Jeremy for performing magic and getting my mower started for me today, checking all the tires and fluids on my mower and my vehicles. For telling me how to care for the mower in a way that I can understand.
Watching Jeremy and Jessica be such loving parents to their children. Grateful that Jeremy is able to quiet his childhood and be the best father and husband he can be. I envy their family bond.
Grateful for a night alone in my house. Taylor at Lisa's with her best friend, Kelsey went to the mall and then spent the night with her best friend.
Staying home on a Saturday night even though I could have gone out because the kids were gone.
Realising how important quiet time is to me.
Finding some long lost self control and discipline, and making it last for more than two weeks now.
Looking forward to my girls weekend with Jess coming up. Learning how to be a real girlfriend.
Being reminded how close my family is. Being the oldest of three girls and knowing I wouldn't want it any other way. Watching them grow up, seeing them do things and make choices based on information that I've given them or things I've taught them. Being so close that we can read each other like a book. Learning from them as much as they learn from me. Knowing two other human beings as well as I know myself. Sitting with them in sadness, pushing through weakness, celebrating in joy. Seeing our differences and appreciating them.
Being an emotional, verbal, caring, compassionate, giving, loving, strong, female and not apologising for being me. I love being a girl!
My sisters and Jess coming to the rescue last night, it was much needed.
Dancing, singing, and playing asshole in the bar with my sisters and Jess, completely oblivious to the other patrons. Yelling, laughing, cursing and ignoring every one else.
Our ridiculously childish behavior, our late night excursions, toilet paper, and Lisa for driving our drunk asses around.
All of us arriving home safely.
Waking up at 11am to a quiet house.
Watching Brea play soccer today.
Feeling Kayla's hand in mine, and the way she reminds me so much of Kelsey. Being able to be close to her, knowing full well the influence I have on her and teaching her how to be a strong independent lady.
Jeremy for performing magic and getting my mower started for me today, checking all the tires and fluids on my mower and my vehicles. For telling me how to care for the mower in a way that I can understand.
Watching Jeremy and Jessica be such loving parents to their children. Grateful that Jeremy is able to quiet his childhood and be the best father and husband he can be. I envy their family bond.
Grateful for a night alone in my house. Taylor at Lisa's with her best friend, Kelsey went to the mall and then spent the night with her best friend.
Staying home on a Saturday night even though I could have gone out because the kids were gone.
Realising how important quiet time is to me.
Finding some long lost self control and discipline, and making it last for more than two weeks now.
Looking forward to my girls weekend with Jess coming up. Learning how to be a real girlfriend.
Being reminded how close my family is. Being the oldest of three girls and knowing I wouldn't want it any other way. Watching them grow up, seeing them do things and make choices based on information that I've given them or things I've taught them. Being so close that we can read each other like a book. Learning from them as much as they learn from me. Knowing two other human beings as well as I know myself. Sitting with them in sadness, pushing through weakness, celebrating in joy. Seeing our differences and appreciating them.
Being an emotional, verbal, caring, compassionate, giving, loving, strong, female and not apologising for being me. I love being a girl!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Down by the sea shore
Getting enough sleep last night.
Going to work today to help my stranded mother (every one's out of the office but her). Happy that I can step in and just do what needs to be done to help her catch up. It's easier that way no training required. Plus I get paid for it...bonus :)
Lots of rain this morning.
Knowing exactly where I'm headed without understanding how I'll get there. Just knowing things will be fine and I am where I'm supposed to be right now.
Sitting quietly with Chad this morning, each doing our own thing within site of each other and how peaceful it was.
Knowing myself better every day, catching myself manipulating situations out of fear and stopping it immediately. .... I can only control myself, have good intentions and what happens ... happens.
Knowing I'm going to be the crazy old painter lady that lives in the cottage by the sea some day and loving it.
My girls following the rules and going to bed at 10 like they were supposed to last night even though I wasn't here to enforce it. (Got home at 10:20)
Knowing that even though they argue sometimes and have acquired my unfavorable skill of disorganizational cluttered hell, they are good, unique young ladies and I'm excited to see what they do with their lives.
My mom for being the best example she could be with the knowledge she had and for being as open minded as she can be now. For always taking my rebellion with a grain of salt, biting her tongue and letting me be who I am at any given moment and always sticking up for me.
Going to work today to help my stranded mother (every one's out of the office but her). Happy that I can step in and just do what needs to be done to help her catch up. It's easier that way no training required. Plus I get paid for it...bonus :)
Lots of rain this morning.
Knowing exactly where I'm headed without understanding how I'll get there. Just knowing things will be fine and I am where I'm supposed to be right now.
Sitting quietly with Chad this morning, each doing our own thing within site of each other and how peaceful it was.
Knowing myself better every day, catching myself manipulating situations out of fear and stopping it immediately. .... I can only control myself, have good intentions and what happens ... happens.
Knowing I'm going to be the crazy old painter lady that lives in the cottage by the sea some day and loving it.
My girls following the rules and going to bed at 10 like they were supposed to last night even though I wasn't here to enforce it. (Got home at 10:20)
Knowing that even though they argue sometimes and have acquired my unfavorable skill of disorganizational cluttered hell, they are good, unique young ladies and I'm excited to see what they do with their lives.
My mom for being the best example she could be with the knowledge she had and for being as open minded as she can be now. For always taking my rebellion with a grain of salt, biting her tongue and letting me be who I am at any given moment and always sticking up for me.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Getting Organized
Today I'm grateful for....
Yet another attempt at getting organized today. Cleaning out my closet, putting away winter clothes.
My intention of cleaning out the hall closet tomorrow.
Chad making the call to Barb tonight and paying his deposit for the next course even though he's a little scared of what's to come.
That I never have to watch over my girls and make sure they do their homework, they just do it on their own.
My cool digital washer and dryer with sensors that weigh the amount of clothing and dampness of the clothing in order to save on water and electricity.
Looking forward to going to the gym with Chad in the morning and doing our own thing while still in the same building.
That Chad lets me be me without question.
That Chad challenges me to do better with the things I'm unhappy about.
Anticipating the work to be done in the back yard and having a fabulous place to hang out.
Everyone I love.
Yet another attempt at getting organized today. Cleaning out my closet, putting away winter clothes.
My intention of cleaning out the hall closet tomorrow.
Chad making the call to Barb tonight and paying his deposit for the next course even though he's a little scared of what's to come.
That I never have to watch over my girls and make sure they do their homework, they just do it on their own.
My cool digital washer and dryer with sensors that weigh the amount of clothing and dampness of the clothing in order to save on water and electricity.
Looking forward to going to the gym with Chad in the morning and doing our own thing while still in the same building.
That Chad lets me be me without question.
That Chad challenges me to do better with the things I'm unhappy about.
Anticipating the work to be done in the back yard and having a fabulous place to hang out.
Everyone I love.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Lovely
Chad bringing me surprise breakfast in bed on Thursday morning, it was lovely.
Hiking with Chad on Friday, although it was freezing!
The Bill Hicks clip sent by Kevin that made me laugh, thanks :)
The Richard Simmons bit sent by jones, oh my god thank you! So Funny! I sent it to my mom:)
A serious talk with my Dad on Friday about choices and choosing to live differently, making an effort to create the life he wants. Knowing that he may not do anything, and being okay with that.
Seeing my Aunt and Uncle on Friday and knowing they're doing well.
Shopping with Kelsey on Saturday, just she and I, getting some fantastic flavored coffee, Butter Rum Toddy!
A night home alone Saturday night, bubble bath and all.
Taking more stuff to goodwill, ..... avoiding my urge to stay and shop, thus avoiding more unnecessary clutter.
Sleeping in today.
Seeing my family come together with Billy's (Lisa's boyfriend) family today. Everyone having a good time.
Watching the babies hunt easter eggs and seeing their faces when they realized what was inside the eggs! priceless.
Getting my car in for a tune up before summer so I can drive with the top down!
Jones for coordinating the womyn's camp!
OOohh, another sold painting and 4 new commissions!! And, the lady from the Veterans Home who needs me to do some paintings for the residents rooms!!
Plans for building a separate painting studio for me this summer so I can be with my flowers in the back yard while painting!
Knowing that I can be of some help for Kay during her mother's funeral this week.
Hiking with Chad on Friday, although it was freezing!
The Bill Hicks clip sent by Kevin that made me laugh, thanks :)
The Richard Simmons bit sent by jones, oh my god thank you! So Funny! I sent it to my mom:)
A serious talk with my Dad on Friday about choices and choosing to live differently, making an effort to create the life he wants. Knowing that he may not do anything, and being okay with that.
Seeing my Aunt and Uncle on Friday and knowing they're doing well.
Shopping with Kelsey on Saturday, just she and I, getting some fantastic flavored coffee, Butter Rum Toddy!
A night home alone Saturday night, bubble bath and all.
Taking more stuff to goodwill, ..... avoiding my urge to stay and shop, thus avoiding more unnecessary clutter.
Sleeping in today.
Seeing my family come together with Billy's (Lisa's boyfriend) family today. Everyone having a good time.
Watching the babies hunt easter eggs and seeing their faces when they realized what was inside the eggs! priceless.
Getting my car in for a tune up before summer so I can drive with the top down!
Jones for coordinating the womyn's camp!
OOohh, another sold painting and 4 new commissions!! And, the lady from the Veterans Home who needs me to do some paintings for the residents rooms!!
Plans for building a separate painting studio for me this summer so I can be with my flowers in the back yard while painting!
Knowing that I can be of some help for Kay during her mother's funeral this week.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Inspirations
Today I'm grateful for....
Taylor's cheek to cheek grin during her first cheer class. Knowing that she is doing something that makes her incredibly happy.
Kelsey's art teacher offering for her to go on the art field trip with another group because she was sick on the day her group went.
That my girls are so unique.
I am grateful for all the things and people that inspire me.
That Chad always wakes up happy and silly. He makes my days better as soon as I wake up with his insane silliness. (He keeps his crack in his pants by the way) ;)
Another positive meeting with my financial advisor.
Losing 7 pounds!
Having nothing to complain about.
Planing our summer trip to the west coast, trying to see us flying with camping gear :)
All the beautiful men.
The people who lead and show the people who don't all the things that can be done.
All of the wonderful teachers in this world who don't get recognized nearly enough. They help shape our children's futures, they deserve so much more.
Taylor's cheek to cheek grin during her first cheer class. Knowing that she is doing something that makes her incredibly happy.
Kelsey's art teacher offering for her to go on the art field trip with another group because she was sick on the day her group went.
That my girls are so unique.
I am grateful for all the things and people that inspire me.
That Chad always wakes up happy and silly. He makes my days better as soon as I wake up with his insane silliness. (He keeps his crack in his pants by the way) ;)
Another positive meeting with my financial advisor.
Losing 7 pounds!
Having nothing to complain about.
Planing our summer trip to the west coast, trying to see us flying with camping gear :)
All the beautiful men.
The people who lead and show the people who don't all the things that can be done.
All of the wonderful teachers in this world who don't get recognized nearly enough. They help shape our children's futures, they deserve so much more.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Smiles
Seeing Taylor excel at her tumbling class, watching her face light up when she nailed her jumps on the very first day.
Babysitting for Jessica's children today. Pushing them on the swing set in my backyard remembering how much fun my girls were at that age. Singing twinkle twinkle little star and the wheels on the bus all day long listening to the newly formed words of a two year old and the all knowing attitude of a lovely diva four year old.
Cutting flowers from my yard and bringing them inside.
Snuggling with Chad during the couple of hours of free time I had before the girls got home from school today.
Being asked to direct an informal painting class at our upcoming womyns camp.
Knowing that Chad will love the TLC course this month, even if he can't fully give of himself in front of all those people yet, and that he will forever be involved with them in some way. Because it is his nature to be kind and helpful.
A lovely discussion while sitting on the front porch with Chad last evening watching the full moon rise over our quiet neighborhood.
Listening to Kelsey's excitement about joining the Math Club at school.
That my mother never says no when asked to babysit no matter what the situation or how complicated.
That Michael's mother lives here and spends time with the girls as often as she can influencing them in ways that I can't.
Really examining my matriarchal family, seeing the similarities in the women in my family, realizing their need to control situations is based in fear and taking steps to change that in my own life.
Like the goddess says, "asking, asking, asking for what I want" Has gotten me a lot further than my usual way of handling things. I thought it would be so hard, but it's really so simple and a lot more direct. It's so much easier, less energy wasted by just saying what I need.
Comfort
singing in the shower
Babysitting for Jessica's children today. Pushing them on the swing set in my backyard remembering how much fun my girls were at that age. Singing twinkle twinkle little star and the wheels on the bus all day long listening to the newly formed words of a two year old and the all knowing attitude of a lovely diva four year old.
Cutting flowers from my yard and bringing them inside.
Snuggling with Chad during the couple of hours of free time I had before the girls got home from school today.
Being asked to direct an informal painting class at our upcoming womyns camp.
Knowing that Chad will love the TLC course this month, even if he can't fully give of himself in front of all those people yet, and that he will forever be involved with them in some way. Because it is his nature to be kind and helpful.
A lovely discussion while sitting on the front porch with Chad last evening watching the full moon rise over our quiet neighborhood.
Listening to Kelsey's excitement about joining the Math Club at school.
That my mother never says no when asked to babysit no matter what the situation or how complicated.
That Michael's mother lives here and spends time with the girls as often as she can influencing them in ways that I can't.
Really examining my matriarchal family, seeing the similarities in the women in my family, realizing their need to control situations is based in fear and taking steps to change that in my own life.
Like the goddess says, "asking, asking, asking for what I want" Has gotten me a lot further than my usual way of handling things. I thought it would be so hard, but it's really so simple and a lot more direct. It's so much easier, less energy wasted by just saying what I need.
Comfort
singing in the shower
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